I tried to forgive, but could not feel the forgiveness in my heart......

Spoken from the heart of an abused soul learning how to forgive from our precious Heavenly Father.

Matt.6:14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.

Matt. 6:15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Matt. 18:35 So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if from your hearts forgive not even one his brother their trespasses.

Just think, if we are to be Christ like, then we must think on the day Christ Jesus, gave His life, for us, sinners, condemed to die. When those soldiers, beat Him and mocked Him and spat apon Him, He cried out, "Father forgive them, they know not what they do."

Would you be able to pray this way, for someone who hurt you?

Several years ago, God brought to my attention, the fact I had unforgiveness in my heart. This unforgiveness was costing me many blessings God had for me, and keeping me from His forgiveness.

When God showed this to me, I tried to forgive these people but could not feel the forgiveness in my heart. I was sexually abused as a child, and the abuser, I had no love for, or forgiveness for, just hate and bitterness towards.

The Father, convicted me day after day. I could not find forgiveness in me. I became so convicted, I could not find peace.

I got alone with God and confessed the unforgiveness, and told Him, I did not have it in my heart to forgive. I begged God to give me a forgiving heart.

I then heard the voice of God, speak to my heart, and telling me, I could not in my own heart forgive, but He could forgive them through me. I said, Father, forgive them through me, love them through me. I then began to pray for these people. At first it seemed to be forced prayer, because I did not want to pray for them, but then all of a sudden, I began to see my abuser through different eyes.

I began seeing them as victums themselves, who did not have God to heal their pain as I do, and I began to pray with my whole heart, for their mercy and salvation. The new found peace inside me, from this experiance, was like non other.

I began to see all people differantly. I had the love of Christ in me towards others. I became a true prayer warrior, bringing concerns of others to the throne of my Father, daily!

My relationship with God became so personal, and exciting, I just never wanted to stop talking to Him. I found myself in continual Prayer all through the day, every day! The blessings began to flow in my life, and my cup runneth over.

If there is one person, or many, whom you have not been able to forgive, I pray you will Ask God to help you find the true forgiveness I found. You will never regret it and never be the same again.

Name withheld