A new York man was forced to take a day off from work to appear for a minor traffic summons. He grew increasingly restless as he waited hour after endless hour for his case to be heard.
When his name was called late in the afternoon, he stood before the judge, only to hear that court would be adjourned for the next day and he would have to return the next day.
"What for?" he snapped at the judge.
His honor, equally irked by a tedious day and sharp query roared, "Twenty dollars contempt of court. That's Why!"
Then noticing the man checking his wallet, the judge relented "That's all right. You don't have to pay now."
The young man replied, "I'm just seeing if I have enough for two more words."
CLICK ON PICTURE - REAL FRIEND
Three guys, an Aggie, a Longhorn
and a Texas Tech Red Raider
are out walking along the beach together one day. They come
across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.
>
"I will give you each one wish; that's three wishes
total,"
says the Genie.
>
The Red Raider says, "I am studying to be a farmer; my dad
was a farmer and my son will also farm. I want the land in
the panhandle to forever be fertile."
>
With a blink of the Genie's eye, "FOOM" the land in the
panhandle was made forever fertile.
>
The Longhorn was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around
Austin, so that no one can come into our precious city."
>
Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, "POOF" there
was a
huge wall around Austin.
>
The Aggie says, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more
about this wall."
>
The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet
thick and nothing can get in or out."
>
The Aggie says, "Fill it up with water."
Where do you find a no legged
dog?
Right where you left him.
Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist?
He sold his soul to Santa.
Did you hear about the man who was tap dancing?
He broke his ankle when he fell into the sink.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A stick.
What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a
vampire?
Frostbite.
What's the difference between roast beef and
pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef.
Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book?
They all have phones.
Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers.
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SEND ONE TO A FRIEND
WANT TO KNOW WHAT WAS HAPPENING ON THE
DAY YOU WERE BORN
