Let's face it — under everyone's Christmas tree there is at least one less-than-perfect present. For Christians (and honest folk everywhere) this creates a problem. How do you respond, in an appropriately polite fashion, without also lying through your teeth? Well, Graceland's practical gift to you this Christmas is to help you out of just such a difficult dilemma. The Second Christmas 2000 Edition of the Heavenly Top Ten is:
Top Ten Things To Say About the Gifts You Don't Really Like
- "Well, well, well, now, there's a gift!"
- "No, with all the hostile takeovers this year, I missed the big Ronco/K-Tel/Ginsu merger. Would you just look at that! What will they think of next?!"
- "Hey, as long as I don't have to feed it, or clean up after it, or put batteries in it, I'm happy!"
- "No, really, I didn't know that there was a Chia Pet tie! Oh, wow! It's a clip-on too!"
- "You know, I always wanted one of these! Jog my memory — what's it
called again?"
- "You know what? — I'm going to find a special place to put this!"
- "Boy, you don't see craftsmanship like that every day!"
- "And it's such an interesting color too!"
- "You say that was the last one? Am I some glad that you snapped that baby up!"
- And the number one thing to say about
the Christmas gifts you didn't like is:
- "You shouldn't have! I mean it, you really shouldn't have!"
