7. His first words to the congregation on Sunday morning are "All right, listen up you heathens..."

6. He falls asleep during his own sermon.

5. He shows up for Sunday service wearing Bermuda Shorts and a Tank Top.

• Topic: Humor
• Category: Humor
• Score: 2 / 5

• Printer Friendly Page
• Send to a Friend

This is a wonderful piece of work. If you have kids you must read it. If you were once a kid you must read it. If you fall into another category, you can skip it. Laws Pertaining to Dessert For we judge between the plate that is unclean and the plate that is clean, saying first, if the plate is clean, then you shall have dessert.

• Topic: Humor
• Category: Humor
• Score: 0 / 5

• Printer Friendly Page
• Send to a Friend

A pastor was giving the children's message during church.  For this part of the service, he would gather all the children around him and give a brief lesson before dismissing them for children's church.

On this particular Sunday, he was using squirrels for an object lesson on industry and preparation.  He started out by saying, "I'm going to describe something, and I want you to raise your hand when you know what it is." The children nodded eagerly.

• Topic: Humor
• Category: Humor
• Score: 0 / 5

• comments?
• Printer Friendly Page
• Send to a Friend

I recall a story my father used to tell about a pastor who had been at a church for 20 years.  To show their appreciation for all his years of faithful service, the congregation decided to collect an offering and buy him a new car.  So on the Sunday of his anniversary they had a special reception in honor of the pastor and his wife.

Lots of visitors come in for the occasion.  Near the end of the reception, the chairman of the deacons got up and presented the keys to a brand new Lincoln Town Car to the pastor.  The pastor was so overwhelmed he really did not know what to say.

• Topic: Humor
• Category: Humor
• Score: 4.5 / 5

• comments?
• Printer Friendly Page
• Send to a Friend

A handyman, who was working for a Synagogue, had asked for a raise and wasturned down. He decided to quit and went out to look for work.

First he went to a Catholic church and was told that in order to work therehe would have to answer one question. The priest asked, "Where was Jesusborn?"

The man answered, "Pittsburgh," and was thrown out on his ear.

He then went to a Baptist church. The minister told him that in order toget a job there he would have to answer a question. He was asked, "Wherewas Jesus born?"

The man answered, "Philadelphia." He was promptly tossed out.

Walking away he met the rabbi who was looking for him. The rabbi exclaimed,"The board approved your raise. Please come back immediately."

• Topic: Humor
• Category: Humor
• Score: 3.85 / 5

• Printer Friendly Page
• Send to a Friend