Pastor Bruce Ball
CrossWinds Bible Church

I can remember vividly when each of my children was born. Shawn was born in Xenia, Ohio and Kimberly was born in Mesa, Arizona. I was as nervous as I could be each time. Why? Because the thought of all the responsibility I would have seemed to overpower me! Was I ready for fatherhood?

I believe most fathers-to-be are filled with anxiety. Theres the story of three men waiting just outside the maternity ward for their wives to give birth. The nurse comes in and tells the first one that he was now the father of twins. He said it was amazing, as he worked for the Minnesota Twins.

A short time later, the nurse came back and told the next man that his wife had just given birth to triplets. He said that was incredible, because he worked for 3M. Finally, she came back in and the last man fainted. They found out later that he worked for 7-11.

Becoming a father is filled with a mixture of excitement, anxiety and a maybe even a little fear thrown in for good measure. On the plus side, we get this opportunity to hold a newborn baby. On the down side, we might end up having to change that newborn babys diaper. On the plus side, we get to teach that child all the things we think are important. On the down side, we will eventually have to help them do their arithmetic homework and tell them about the birds and the bees! But when you weigh everything out, the good side will always far outweigh the other side to parenting. It is absolutely incredible what God has made possible for us to do.

As far as writing sermons, I like writing Mothers Day sermons more than I do writing sermons for Fathers Day. In a Mothers Day sermon, I can extol all the virtues of a mother, and tell about all of the wonderful and mushy things a mother is. In a Fathers Day sermon, it is almost like there is an unwritten law that says we have to tell the fathers how to be better fathers. Maybe that is the way it should be, but it seems a little lopsided to me. Of course, if I were to stand up here and tell all you guys how wonderful and sweet you are and how much we appreciate and love you, youd probably never come back, so there might be some rhyme and reason to it, at that.

Today is Fathers Day and, of course we are going to be talking about fatherhood, and some of the reasons we are called to honor fathers.

No matter what the TV sitcoms portray; no matter what some of the womens lib organizations show; and no matter what some of the gay rights people say, fatherhood is very important. In fact, I would go so far as to say it is a God-ordained institution. There are some, for sure, that are trying their best to take the fathers out of the equation when raising a child, but we can all see that is a purely selfish motive. Lets see just how important fathers are to children.

1. WHAT IS A FATHERS ROLE?
PSALM 103:13 says that as a father has compassion for his children, so will the Lord have compassion for a father. So we can see that a good father feels a great amount of compassion and love for his children. It is out of this great love and compassion for our children that we do the things we can to make sure they are raised as well as we can raise them. And, sometimes, this includes discipline.

In PROVERBS 3:12, we are told that the Lord disciplines those He loves just as a father disciplines the child he delights in. When I was growing up, I know my dad really loved me very much because he never hesitated to show or say it. But I also know that he never hesitated to discipline me whenever I needed it, too. I dont remember the specific circumstances, but I do remember telling him once that he was wrong. And when I told him, I was being very defiant, in my tone of voice. My dad came back without missing a breath and said that he might not always be right, but when it came to what I was doing, he was never wrong! I know now, that he was talking about always trying his best for me because he loved me.

And, that is like us today, too, isnt it? God will discipline those children that He loves. Do we always understand it when He does? For the most part, we dont do we? Do you think it is for our own good? Dont you think it is because He loves us?

PROVERBS 13:22 tells us that a good man will leave an inheritance even for his childrens children. That isnt always money it speaks of. What that means is that the way in which you raise your children will be the way in which they raise their children. If you love your children and teach them compassion, respect, and about God, they will do the same, even down unto the 4th and 5th generations.

We have only been given custody of our children for a short period of time. It is within this period of time that we must have fun with our children, enjoy them as they grow, and perhaps the most important thing of all teach them to be the best they can be. And, to be the best they can be is for them to be in the Lord.

2. BLESSING YOUR CHILDREN

A man once took his family out to dinner to a nice restaurant. Just before they ate, the little boy asked if he could say grace, and his father told him that would be fine.

The little boy thanked God for the food they were about to eat, and then added, And please let Mommy order me some ice-cream for dessert. In liberty and justice for all, Amen.

Several people around them heard it and smiled, but one lady sitting at the next table muttered sarcastically that is what was wrong with the kids nowadays they didnt know how to pray right.

The little boys feelings were hurt and he asked his daddy if he prayed wrong. The father smiled and bent over to his child and whispered, As a matter of fact, I happen to know that God liked that prayer very much! And besides, ice-cream is good for putting a smile on your face and some joy in your heart. The little boy smiled and whispered back to his father, Do you think that lady orders ice cream for dessert? The father said she probably didnt.

After dinner, when the ice cream came, the little boy got up and took it over to the lady and said, Here, you have this. My daddy says ice-cream is good for putting a smile on your face and joy in your heart, and it seems that you need this more than I do. The little boy had an honest heart and was trying to help the lady. Fathers instill these purities into the hearts of their children. PROVERBS 20:7 tells us that a man who tries to be righteous with his children will have children that are blessed.

Paul wrote to the disciple Timothy. In his writings, he mentioned that Timothy was like a son to him. And what did Paul do in regards to Timothy? He encouraged him! He directed him! And he taught him! Those are the three main areas in which a father can bless his child.

You always should encourage your children no matter how old they might be or no matter where the may live. I remember when my kids were youngsters; I tried to encourage them in all they did. I taught each of them how to swim by encouraging them. They each took their first steps because we were there saying, You can do it!

I am sure I was not a perfect father, and I am sure that there were many times that I failed to encourage, but I always tried, and if you have children, no matter what age they are, you need to make sure you try to always encourage them. To continually discourage them will only kill their spirits.

Like Paul did to Timothy, you should always be willing to give your children direction. They might not show you at the time, but they are always glad you gave them advice and direction. It shows you love and care about them.

And, always be sure you teach them everything you can. Be sure that you teach them the ways of the Lord too, so that whenever they are on their own they will know whom to rely upon for wisdom and knowledge.

If you do these three things on a constant basis for your children, whether your children are youngsters or grown adults, they will end up loving you and looking forward to your time with them.

Another way you can help your children is to bless them so they will hear and understand what you are saying. A blessing is such a powerful thing! We know that Gods blessings on us are very powerful and they show that we have favor with God. When we bless our children, it will likewise be powerful and show them they stand in favor with us, too.

I think the modern American father may have been taught to focus a little too much on the work and not enough on each individual within his family. I want each one of the men here to think back to when you were a young child. Remember those times when you were all excited about seeing your father. Remember how much you wanted him to approve of you and how badly it hurt when you did something that he disapproved of?

I was too young to remember all the details, but I was about 4 years old and my mother would hold my hand and take me across the street when it was time for my dad to come home from work. She would stand there with me until my dads car came down the road and stopped where I was. She would open the door and I remember crawling in and standing up by my dad. She would close the door and together, with my dad, we would turn left and pull into the driveway and park the car. Wow! What a memory. Each of you have similar memories, too, dont you? Can you see now just how important fathers are in the family?

And, if fathers are so important, so are their blessings. In GENESIS 27, we read where Jacob stole Esaus blessing from his father. That blessing was so valued that Esau was ready to kill Jacob for it. In verse 38, we see that Esau did get a blessing, and later we read where his life was good and happy.

Tell your children you are proud of them and that you love them. Put your arm around their shoulders and let them know how you feel. That is something that will carry on down from them to future generations all because you were man enough to show them.

Several years ago, a man I worked with was complaining that his teenaged son was having some severe social problems. They had put him in the psychiatric unit of the hospital in Phoenix on several occasions. He said he just didnt know what was wrong with the boy and he said he was just about ready to give up.

I told him that he already had given up a long time ago. I asked him if he ever went for a walk with his son, or if he ever put his arm around his boys shoulders and told him he loved him. The man I was talking to said he didnt do any of that, because that was the wifes job, not his. I told him that was the reason he was having trouble with the boy; that he had shown the boy that he wasnt worth his fathers love and attention. I hear stories like that and all I want to do is to go to the child in question and put MY arms around him and tell them they are loved. A fathers influence is one of the strongest things in a persons life. It can build or it can totally destroy a life.

3. WHAT DOES THE WORD DISCIPLINE MEAN?

In the Miriam-Webster dictionary, the word discipline is defined as:

Discipline means to train. You train your child to think a certain way and to feel a certain way. Too often, we train them to do everything they need to do with the exception of depending upon Jesus Christ as their Savior.

In EPHESIANS 6:4, it teaches us to bring up our children in instruction and discipline. How does a father do this? He does this by taking TIME with the child. See, character is caught more than it is taught. And a child cannot catch on to the subtle things from you unless you are around him for periods of time.

When I was 4 years old, we moved from Tucson to a place called Jonesville, Virginia. My dad grew up there. We lived there on the farm my grandfather built when he got married in 1896. We even had the original wood stove in the kitchen that my mom cooked on. There was no electricity, so dad had to contract to have a wire run to the house, and we had one sink that had running water, but to get the water, you had to prime the pump and then pump it until the well water came out of the faucet.

It was in this atmosphere that my dad used to take my brother and me on some of the most wonderful walks. On these walks, he would show us how to gauge a miles distance by eye site and he would show us things like the proper way to cross a swinging bridge. He would just plain talk to us and share his mind with us.

Over time, dad taught us a lot. Without him spending the time with us, we would never have been taught those things. Using that time, he also taught us through instruction and through his actions how to rely upon God in our lives. He used to gather everyone around his chair at night, with nothing but the light of a coal oil lamp and the fireplace and read the Bible.

Have we taken time like that with our kids? Most of us can say we did not. We can blame a lot of it on circumstances, but we must be honest and blame the rest of it on ourselves. If we never gave our children quality time like that, maybe it is time to start doing that today.

It is very important to me to let my kids know that I truly love them. I dont think there is a conversation we have, whether it be on the phone or in person that I do not tell them that I love them. If you dont do that, why dont you start doing it? Your kids need to be trained to do that to their kids, too.

CONCLUSION

I am not going to talk much further today. It is Fathers Day and most of you have plans already made for this afternoon with your families, so I will let you go in a few minutes. I think that your spending time with your children today in light of what you have learned here this morning is more important to God than your sitting her listening to me go on and on. We will save that for another week!

I have told you before that when you pray to God, even when you are alone, you should occasionally get on your knees. The reason for this is very simple. Most of the time, it is too hard for us to make ourselves humble of mind and heart. But, when we actually get into a humble position with our bodies, we find that it is much easier to be humble of mind and heart, too.

You should pray with your children if they are with you. This would train them by observation how to get their own prayer life. It would also show them the frailty of their father, so they will know they are frail, too, when it comes to God.

I heard a saying once that I loved. It says, A father is never taller to his children then when he kneels to pray

Model yourselves after God, because He is the model father. In PSALM 103, it says that the Father is slow to anger, He is merciful, he keeps no records of when we were wrong, He has compassion and He understands our limitations. Use these standards for your children.

As we enter our time of invitation, let me ask you

You have a Heavenly Father today?
Are you His child?
You can be, but you have to choose to be.
You can have every sin youve ever done washed away to be remembered no more.

Bow your heads and close your eyes.

• Topic: Sermons

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